Last week, I attended a health retreat. I was really looking forward to some time to myself. To go to yoga and meditation. To let go of the logistics. To switch off. When I arrived there, I met some lovely men and women who had similar aspirations.
As they presented the schedule for the night and the next day, the day started at 6 am and finished at 8:30 pm and if you did all the activities, you could do a total of 14 things. S*&^! That is excluding a massage or facial which I was pretty keen on. I overheard women who had come with another friend taking about attending 9 of them together.
I was asked which ones I was attending. I didn't know. I was going to think about it. Should I attend a few things as I was planning on going to 1 only! I had a little F.O.M.O (fear of missing out). Am I not maximising my time here. I decided to stick to 1 on day one and had a treatment instead.
At lunch, there was a lot of conversation about what people did from hiking a mountain to 10km running to stretch class. When they asked me, I said I had done none and watched the scenery from my room with about 5 cups of herbal tea and read the wellbeing magazine. That's it! They gave me a puzzled look. "Don't you want to make the most of this weekend?'
When I asked two of the women I was sitting next to who had arrived from Sydney and had saved up to come and organised a lot of logistics to come with 3 kids each and work, I could see that our mindset sometimes is to DO DO and more DO.
I started to think about friends asking me to do a few things lately. I had said no a lot lately as my diary was very full and more importantly my head. For close friends though, I will always make time.
Do you get F.O.M.O? Do you do things because if you said no, you may not be asked again? Are there people you try to please and you become someone you are not?
My close friends will always love me whatever I do. So will yours.
If you get F.O.M.O, ask yourself if you are doing things because others are. If it feels good, meets a bucket list, you love hanging around those people, say yes. But if the answer is because they are doing it, say no. Create time for things that matter in your life.
Keeping up with the Jones' is a disaster.
1. Doing does not give you success
2. Work out who your real friends are
3. Dont do things because of F.O.M.O