The Pursuit of Happiness

Shivani Gupta wants people to feel good about themselves.

The nationally recognised Newcastle-based business coach and advocate of a balanced lifestyle believes success is about more than material possessions and a place at the boardroom table.

Gupta should know. She was, by her own admission, once a "corporate warrior", her work and personal life driven by the goals of making money for the company and winning the approval of her bosses and colleagues.

But things changed for Gupta when she took a sabbatical in Nepal seven years ago, and the contentment she discovered has prompted her to share the message that business success and personal fulfilment need not be mutually exclusive.

Three years ago, Gupta moved to Newcastle from Adelaide to set up home with her Novocastrian husband Scott Orpin.

The pair met in Adelaide where Gupta had established a coaching business after a life-changing decision to leave a senior management role with BHP Billiton.

Since establishing Passion @ People, Gupta's mini-empire has expanded to encompass book releases, a television hosting role on SBS's four-part series Risking it All, a newspaper column and, most recently, a meditation CD, Meditation for Busy People.

Gupta arrived in Australia when she was 11 with her parents and younger brother, Nitin, in 1983.

Initially the family had to choose between Australia and the US when Gupta's parents decided to leave India in the hope of giving their children better opportunities.

Gaining a quality education was one of the most important factors.

The family moved to Australia to set up their new lives in the regional town of Whyalla.

"It was pretty tough," Gupta says.

"At the time I think the population was about 26,000 people, so coming from a city of, you know, 3 million [Bhilai, in central India] to 26,000 was a bit much. It was a pretty big change.

"The good thing was it was easier to develop some friends because everybody was nice and it had that country feel to it.

"The down side was that because they weren't that multicultural and there weren't that many Indians there, there was a lot of racism I copped from a couple of guys at school so I often got home in tears.

"My self-esteem was pretty battered and bruised so I struggled for those first couple of years in particular."

Gupta believes those experiences gave her a thick skin.

"I think it was the best thing that happened to me because I never look back and think 'Oh gosh, I wish that hadn't happened'.

"I think it was brilliant because what it did was teach me to be very resilient and I wouldn't be who I am today...I wouldn't be able to do some of the work that I do, which is to help people feel better about themselves and work on their self esteem.

"If I hadn't experienced that I wouldn't be able to help those people."

Gupta grew up a bit of a tomboy, preferring to play with trucks and cars and hang out with the boys.

As a teenager she considered becoming a truck driver, ("not very ambitious" she laughs now) although her family had higher expectations.

"There's a lot of pressure from Indian families because they want you to educate really well so there was a lot of talk of me becoming a doctor, which I couldn't imagine," she says.

"I don't faint at the sight of blood but it's pretty close to it, so I really wasn't sure growing up what I really wanted to be."

After high school, Gupta completed a degree in electrical/electronic engineering, following in the footsteps of her engineer father, before earning a business masters at just 26.

Gupta climbed the corporate ladder quickly. She worked for several large companies, including General Motors, before landing a role as a senior manager with BHP Billiton, where she remained for three years.

"When I worked in corporate Australia the work was great and it paid well," she says.

"There was a period where we saved BHP tens of millions of dollars, so that was pretty exciting, but there was a level of contentment missing for me.

"When you're working with very large companies- and BHP were wonderful to me as an example- you know that you're making a difference but it feels like a bit of a drop in the ocean."

Gupta says she became "the corporate warrior".

"BHP said to me 'Look, I need you to do this' and I went, 'OK'.

"I was the corporate warrior, particularly as the female in the masculine world. I had to put my armour on every day and I had to fight. My job was to get more money, make more money, be tough and be resilient, don't show any emotion and get on with it.

"A lot of the corporate world is like that, where women find it very difficult to be their authentic self.

"For example, as I'm speaking to you today, I'm wearing a pink jacket. I would have never dreamed of wearing pink when I was at BHP in the fear of being judged by that."

A trip to Nepal had been on the cards for years but Gupta had twice cancelled her travel plans due to the demands of her job.

In 2001 she decided to travel and it gave her the clarity she needed to change her life.

The trip came about shortly after September 11 so her family and friends were hesitant about Gupta going overseas to trek but she decided to see it through.

She says she needed to allow herself the chance to think without the distraction of mobile phones and email.

She marvels at the contentment of the Nepalese people.

"They were just beautiful people," she says.

"They were very happy with what they had.

"One little boy invited me into his home, and his family was just about to sit down for food and all they had to eat was boiled rice and water with a bit of salt.

"His mother divided up the food and gave me a plate. I didn't know if this was their only meal for the day or when they would eat again but they were just so happy."

Gupta left the home sobbing as she tried to figure out why these people were so happy.

"In my life I'd been so driven- I probably still am to an extent- but I'd been driven in the areas of materialistic things so what was important to me before Nepal was what I wore, what I drove, where I lived and what people thought of me.

"It was the first time in my life where I went, 'You know, I've been put on this planet to do something big and it is not to work in the corporate world'."

Gupta realised she had to change the direction of her working life and also the unhappy relationship she shared with her then husband.

After Nepal, Gupta's marriage ended and she took another gamble by leaving her role at BHP to establish a coaching business.

Although she had a clear idea of the things she wanted to do in her life, Gupta felt unsure about how to implement the changes.

At one point somebody suggested she had perhaps had a midlife crisis at 30.

"I remember thinking 'Oh maybe I am. Most people have it at 40 and here I am having it at 30!'

"I had no idea how to make it work. I felt very naive".

Gupta established Passion @ People in 2002 after meeting with other successful business owners to gain insight about establishing a business without past experience.

She specialises in the coaching of executives, small business and women.

She has won awards including Telstra Young Business Woman of the Year and this year mentored four new businesses on the SBS program Risking it All.

One of the most supportive people in Gupta's life is husband Scott Orpin.

Gupta struck up a friendship with the Novocastrian while she was in Adelaide but both were just out of long-term relationships and decided the timing was not right to get together, maintaining a friendship instead.

After the breakdown of her last relationship, Gupta put together a list of all the things she wanted in her next partner, breaking it down to nine characteristics.

Orpin met all of those characteristics.

A relationship blossomed between the pair and, after four months, Orpin tried to persuade Gupta to move to Newcastle where he had set up home to be closer to his children Sebastian, 13, and Oliver, 10.

"Scott is a HR director and is very good at recruitment so we always have the standing joke that he brought me to Newcastle on a recruitment exercise," Gupta laughs.

"He told me that we were staying in a tent because I had not done a lot of camping before in my life and I thought, 'Oh God...a tent? Ugh!'

"The tent turned out to be the Crowne Plaza in Newcastle. He'd booked a fantastic room there, we went out to beautiful restaurants and after spending that four days here, I was hooked!

"I went, 'This is a fantastic place!'"

On April 14 last year, Gupta and Orpin married in Newcastle.

The reception was held at Bacchus restaurant where the couple were surrounded by friends and family, many of whom had travelled interstate for the wedding.

So taken is Gupta with her new home that she had decided to buck family convention and have her first child, due on January 1, in Newcastle rather than travelling back to Adelaide to be with her mother Promilia, and her father Satish.

"We traditionally go back and have the first child at your parents' place," Gupta says.

"My parents said, 'It would be lovely if you came back to Adelaide' and I said, 'Mum, I'm not going to have the baby in Adelaide. I know that's what you did with me but I will not be doing that.'

"She was fine [about it]. I think they oscillate between that real traditional culture compared to the fact they've been here 25 years and been really Aussie at the same time."

The couple live at The Junction where they regularly have Orpin's sons over to stay.

Gupta says she feels "very" content at the moment with several new projects on the horizon and, of course, the imminent arrival of their baby.

"The baby hasn't arrived yet but there's something really beautiful about knowing there are two heartbeats inside me at the moment," Gupta says.

"I just feel really settled, however I've started two other books, we've also hired somebody whose going to be starting in the business next week as a coach and we've just taken over another two offices.

"Contentment to me doesn't mean sitting still. It just means feeling that you are very thankful and grateful for what you have."