Today we look at how being “social” can help us to be happy.
Key Points
There are 7 key areas to happiness:
- Family
- Work
- Spiritual
- Financial
- Physical
- Mental
- Social
Be social, be happy seems obvious BUT one does not follow the other.
Being more social doesn’t necessarily mean you will be happier. Here, like in many areas it is about quality not quantity.
Tips
1. Create a hierarchy of social needs (Rank your friends)
Each year my husband and I do this. Sounds clinical but it works. Rank friends from Tier 1 to 5. Who needs to move up or down the ladder? Who else needs to come on to the list?
2. Find new friends
Important to find new friends/people to socialise with. Opens you up to new opportunities and ideas.
We all change and grow. Existing friends may not be going in the same direction. Good to have some other people at a similar stage of “evolvement” as you or people who challenge you. (My father always used to say it is good to play tennis with someone who is better than you if you want to improve.)
3. Sometimes you have to let friends go
If you are bringing new people into your circle of friends you may let go of other friends. Times change, you change, they change, common interests change.
Assess what you are getting from a friendship. Is there give and take? Is it one way, is it hard work?
Sometimes friends will be down and you support them. That’s part of friendship but it shouldn’t be all the time.
Your friends influence you – opinions but also energy levels.
If I’m hanging around friends that swear a lot, I swear a bit more too.
If I’m hanging around people who are negative and cynical its easy to get into that frame of mind – feeds on itself. (If you put your hand in a honey jar, some of its going to stick. Be careful what you stick to.)
Are you in the crowd that is always in the tea room or around the water cooler having a whinge?
Summary
- Asses your friendships
- Being social is about quality not quantity
- Its healthy to have changing friendships
- Good book to read: How to win friends and influence people – Dale Carnegie.
My little one got sick this week. Infact, she has been sick on and off for the last 6 months. I put it to childcare and everyone around me told me that is the way it is and it is good for their immunity system.
After having to juggle many days off or getting Scott my husband to on days I was interstate, something needed to change.
The simple solution was to go back to nannies and grandparents as support.
The hard thing was the guilt that goes with it. I felt guilty that I was not being a good mother as I love my work so much. Particularly on days that she was a little unwell. If a child is really sick, why do mothers feel like they have to take the day off? Is it because we think that if we dont, we are bad mothers? Or because we may earn less or value ourselves less?
This is a question I have been asking myself as I would like to go to work guilt free on a day that my child is a little unwell knowing she is in great care and that other people can look after my child while I go and do something that I love.
Do you face mother guilt? How often? What about?